Sunday, August 21, 2011

Tourists Need Not Apply

Well, I'm now vacation-fresh and ready to start anew.  Great.  Right off the bat I make it sound like I'm endorsing laundry detergent: "Introducing new Vacation Fresh with extra strength stain-fighting power!"

When the beach beacons, transplanted Floridians and tourists tend to migrate towards the Atlantic (Eastern) coast with it's long, wide, white beaches.  That's ok, if you like fighting the tourists for a parking spot, risking getting run over by the beach patrol, the (low-ish) potential of getting nibbled on by a shark, or staying in a "condo" that's really nothing more than an over-glorified hotel room.  True Floridians however, we tend to migrate towards the West Coast.  No, not Santa Monica, Malibu, or any other Californian beach-side shithole...the Gulf of Mexico.  Sure, the beaches aren't as wide and you can forget about surfing unless a tropical storm (or worse) is coming, but the one thing that sets it apart from the other coast is...you ain't gonna be fighting for space with the tourists.
 

Personally, I like Manasota Key, which is often referred to as "Englewood Beach".  There are only three small public beaches along the Key, but between them is pretty much private homes with a scattering of vacation rentals.  Step off the back deck...and you're on the beach.  If the sand isn't completely empty, the nearest person (other than the occasional jogger) is a hundred yards away....which definitely appeals to my loner / antisocial sensibilities.  Thankfully it's also been spared of those giant,  ten-story (or more), view-killing condominiums...unlike every other beach in Florida.  Hell, the largest condo (which is all but condemned thanks to Hurricane Charlie back in '04...and thanks to some seriously strict zoning laws) is only four stories tall.


If you get up early enough and your timing is right, you'll get to see baby Loggerhead Turtles emerging from their nests as they make a dash for the water.  Look all you want, take all the pictures you want, but don't touch'em....that is unless you don't mind being referred to as a convicted felon.

8 comments:

  1. A fair percentage of my beachin' time is spent surreptitiously girl-watching, but otherwise your choices make sense...and as an armchair reptile enthusiast myself, how do you say 'no' to turtle hatchlings? If regulations allowed (which they likely don't), I'd be half-tempted to start scooping the little nippers up and running 'em to the drink by the bucketful, just to give 'em a slight headstart on their many, many predators.

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  2. Yeah, the hatchling turtles may be cute and all, but resist the temptation to get all cuddly with them. Federally, they are protected under the Endanger Species Act and even so much as touching them is punishable by a fine of up to $100,000 and/or one year in prison. At the state level, it depends upon the state, with fines ranging between $500 to $100000 and jail sentences of up to 5 years.

    In Florida they are protected under the Marine Turtle Protection Act. Handling them (without a permit) is a 3rd degree felony with a penalty of up to five years in jail and a $5,000 fine. Disturbing their nests carries the same penalty...just ask these two geniuses: http://www2.tbo.com/news/news/2010/jun/22/landowner-tampered-turtle-nests-wildlife-officials-ar-33454/

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  3. Haha that's my Home town. I was you would have said you were coming would have loved to invite you to join the family for dinner and so old fashion pie.

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  4. RM: Mmmmmmm...pie. Well, it was kinda short notice...I knew when I was taking off from work, but didn't figure out the destination until the very last minute. Half the time we'll (my gf and I) end up in mountains of Tennessee, but I didn't really feel like driving that far. The gf, having lived in FL most of her life, has never stayed on the west coast for any length of time....going to a bar on St Pete Beach after a Devil Rays game doesn't really count.

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  5. RE: the two Acts...I presumed something along those lines, and given the blatantly brutal turtle-harvesting on Central/South American coastlines, said regs more than make sense. 'Scuse me whilst I check that link.

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  6. Anon: Well, most of those stiff penalties are for critter covered under the Endanger Species Act....almost all sea turtles (and all land tortoises) in FL are covered under it. As for Central/South America...ehhhh...if you're poor and your only readily available food source are turtles.... Well, nature loses. Now, if they're doing it without regulation and/or control just to turn a profit at the local market....yeah, I'd tend to have a problem with that.

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  7. Agreed...fishing is one thing, OVERfishing quite another. Just don't get me started on shark-finning (unless those in question plan on using the whole shark). Ah, and the case in that link? Rock-headed territorial cantankerousness. I get the impression that harpy would sue passersby for breathing 'her' air, were that possible.

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  8. Anon: Said cantankerous harpy just doesn't seem to understand that beach-side property lines either end at the high(est) tide line or at some surveyed point...not the actual water's edge. That, and the ESA and MTPA trump property rights. Hell, that old bitch (yeah, I said it) would probably call the cops if a meter reader or trash collector lingered on her property a second longer than (she) deemed necessary.

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