Photo by Phillipthe2 using HTC Evo 8.0MP
Now, it goes without saying that I was highly intoxi-muh-cated for three days straight. That's a given.
As for being all chivalrous and defending some perfect strangers' honor... A friend from out of town and I are in a local bar throwing back some liquid courage and chatting up a couple of tattooed up chicks at the table next to us....you know, just bullshitting the time away. All the while the two are getting hassled by every proverbial 'dirty old man' that comes in the place....and that's painting with broad strokes considering it's a biker rally. A couple of straight-up white trash types come over and decide it's time to skip the small talk. One pulls out a camera...the other starts mugging for said camera as he grabs handfuls of tit and ass. Needless to say, said damsels did not approve...and neither did we.
Liquid courage don't fail me now!
A few choice words are exchange when one of the trailer park duo grabs.... Honestly, the dude has a dozen or more empty beer bottles, several beer mugs, and a like number of bar stools to chose from, but this idiot decided his weapon of choice would be my brand new cell phone....which he hit me in the face with. Not smart. I broke his nose before he had a chance to do any more technological damage. His skinny, camera-toting, shit-talking friend was literally beating his fist against his chest, throwing out trailer park gang signs, and exclaiming "What?! What muthafuckuh?! You want some'uh this?! C'mon muthafuckuh!"....as he backed up towards the exit.
It Lives!
Eight hours, a hangover, and several cell-phone-induced bruises later ...all the while rather surprised that we'd escaped jail time...we ran into said damsels. They were models at a body art exhibition (tattoos, body piercing, etc). Did I mention that I'm chivalrous? Yeah, I'm also monogamous. Damn you, monogamy!!
Oh, in case your wondering, Jackyl....yeah, the slightly age-ed band from the '90s....more than made up for that suck-fest that was Warrant last year.
Ah, so that's you in the picture? Cool.
ReplyDeleteDralavent: Yeah, that's me in all my "rub the Buddha" glory. Oh, I forgot to mention...I may end up in Easy Rider and Biker magazines...the blond one went out riding with me. The pro photographers tend to take notice when they see a blond, bikini-clad, tattooed chick riding around on the back on an old school chopper...stretched out '68 Triumph Bonneville with a lot of "redneck engineering". Ain't some chromed out $50k monster fresh off the showroom floor like every other doctor and lawyer you see these days....and call themselves "bikers" because they do their apparel shopping at a harley dealership.
ReplyDelete...but I digress.
"Rub the Buddha"?
ReplyDeleteDude, you should see MY stomach. It gives out both good luck AND fortunes!
Anon: It's all good...just so long as it doesn't produce the plastic wrapped cookie as well. Then again, lotto numbers would be nice.
ReplyDelete