Make Lemonade

No, I haven't fallen off the proverbial map quite yet....just have a lot of issues that have prevented me from posting in the past week or so.  What's the old saying?  "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade."

I hate lemonade.

So, where to start?  Friday morning, my vintage 1978 water heater finally met it's maker.  Friday afternoon I buy a brand new, eco-friendly, and insanely expensive water heater and haul it home in a trailer towed behind my Jeep Wrangler.  I stopped at a local grocery store on the way home and was in the there for no more than twenty minutes.  Within that twenty minutes a drunken idiot with no insurance and a revoked license (because of multiple DUIs) barrels through the parking lot and into my pride and joy....and then hauls ass.

Awesomeness.

The local cops are there in less than five minutes and within ten minutes they'd caught said idiot.  Apparently he had damaged his car to the point where it only got a mile down the road and was forced to abandon it.  They caught him a few hundred feet away from his mangled car, staggering up the side of the road.  My Jeep however....well, no cosmetic or sheet metal damage, but he did manage to snap my rear axle at the "pumpkin".  I ordered a remanufactured axle for it, but was the wrong one and had to send it back.  Thanks gawd for "free return shipping".  The new axle will be here this coming Friday.

I managed to get the water heater home unscathed, but had to wait until Monday to install it...or rather, a plumber friend of mine who owes me a couple of favors couldn't do it right away.  I can't really complain about three days of cold showers considering that it's been nearing 100 degrees outside this past week.  Installing a new residential sized water heater is a relatively easy task.  Conversely, removing a '70s era one is...well, go out into the woods and find yourself a good sized bear.  Pick a fight with him.  You get the idea.

Just like celebrity deaths, thing always happen in threes.  Yesterday evening the county public works department was in front of my house digging for something....gold, buried treasure, who knows?  They did however, manage to dig up something....my telephone lines.  So, for at least the next day or so I'm internet-less at home and forced to use this old, antiquated piece of shit computer at work.

I absolutely hate lemonade.